Cow Jokes!

Red Cow


Horse Jokes/Cow Jokes

Note: While working on posting my Depression Emergency Kit, I put up these Cow Jokes, in order to lighten things up . . . Enjoy!  Dawn

OK — enough talk about Depression. We’ll get through all that. In the meantime, lets get into some jokes!

I work with horses — both my own and my client’s. I’m a farrier, which means I trim barefoot hooves and, when necessary, I shape, fit and nail on horseshoes. But years ago I milked cows on several fragrant dairy farms in Enumclaw, Washington.

Jokes intrigue me — partly because I’m not that funny of a person — I rarely remember jokes. But also, as a writer, I realize that someone took the time to come up with the things. And then they got remembered, and then they got spread around.

And I wondered, can anyone write jokes?

Can I?

So one stone-black night while riding my horses (and getting a little frightened in the darkness that particular spooky night) I decided to try my hand at writing jokes. Just to calm my nerves and give my mind a place to go.

I began with Horse Jokes.

(Please visit my horse blog Soul Horse Ride, and come with me on a Virtual Ride.)

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What did the chestnut say to the palomino?
What’s up, pal?

Why did the Dressage horse break up with the Western horse?
He couldn’t hack-amore.

Peter, Peter pumpkin whopper
Had a horse and couldn’t stop her
Put her in a Kimberwick
And then he stopped her REAL QUICK!

What do you call a stuck-up wound?
Proud flesh.

Why did the pony gallop across the meadow?
He tried to narrow the field.

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You get the idea. Nothing great — but it was a start.

Then, a couple weeks later, I decided to shift to Cow Jokes. That’s when I realized how much funnier cows are than horses!

So here are a few of my favorite ORIGINAL Cow Jokes:

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What do you say to a cow who plays the harp?
Holy Cow!

Why did the heifer* take off her sweater?
She came into heat.

(*heifer: a young female cow)

What do cows in the Himalaya Mountains produce?
Frozen Yogurt.

Where do the Mormon cows like to hang out?
Salt Lick City.

What is the biggest problem facing modern cows today?
Bull shit!

What kind of lashes communicate kindness?
Eyelashes.

Why did the cow refuse to be milked?
Her bag bombed.

I’ve heard of a fat cat, but what do you call a fat cow?
Heavy Cream.

What kind of cake do cows like for their birthday?
Cheese Cake.

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So there you have it. I know it’s a bit much, but I’ve brainstormed 17 pages of Cow Jokes so far…

And just to lighten things up, I’ll be interspersing a few Cow, Farrier, Horse Jokes along the way.

Hope that helps!

Moooooo!

(Really get into it — I hope you’ll “Moooooo!” with the correct bovine head-toss, pitch, intonation and accent, by the way…)

Dawn

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Like what you’ve read here? Visit Dawn’s sister blog: Soul Horse Ride

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Copyright 2013, 2017

32 thoughts on “Cow Jokes!”

    1. DawnSeeker Post author

      I always have a certain horse-head pictured when I hear that joke — kind of a thick draft type with droopy lips and a beard. (btw –I’ve seen a few odd draft horses with actual mustaches — very interesting)

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  6. Wanda

    Why did the pony gallop across the field?
    To get to the other side.

    What is it called when a horse has a bad dream?
    A nightmare

    What’s the scariest car to a horse?
    A Core-VET

    What did the pony say in question to the Appaloosas advice?
    I think your ideas are spotty

    Wow, I’m not half bad at this…. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓
    1. Wanda

      Oh dear god, now I can’t stop…..

      So this horse walk into a bar….. His Owner was upset because he was suppose to jump it.

      How many ponies does it take to change a light bulb?
      None. They prefer to make their plans of world domination in the secret of darkness.

      What’s white and black and read all over? A sunburned paint

      What did the Clydesdale say to the bartender?
      “What do you have on draft?”

      What did the grass field jumping horse say to the bartender?
      “What’s on tap?”
      (Get it, drilled and tapped…. Wow, it’s getting late)

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓
      1. DawnSeeker Post author

        That’s the idea :)) You go!! Isn’t it a gas to try your brain in this area? (I LOVE the Core-VET!) :))

        Have been reading some of your blog and really enjoy it. Amazing how horses create such rich material for our moving forward in Life. Just like it’s part of some Grand Design.

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    1. DawnSeeker Post author

      Thank you for your kind comment!!!! I love those silly jokes :)) I bet you can come up with some, too — I think most of us just haven’t tried :)) Give your mind an assignment (ie. a topic — mine was horses, cows), sit with a paper tablet and pen, and just brainstorm — stupid sayings, musings, words . . . You’ll be amazed at how much is in there!!! And please, share! Dawn

      Deep Philosophical Three Minute Conversations

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    1. DawnSeeker / DawnHoof Post author

      :)) Glad the cows are still joking around :)) By the way, why do horses kick? Because they cannot take up arms :)) What kind of internet service do most horses avoid? Barbed wireless. (Before the virus, I started up with horse jokes again!) Beware of cow pies — Dawn

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