Caution!

Difficult Times — Frustration!

First the lock-downs. Now the riots. Absolute frustration! I had this draft in queue a month into the lock-down. Seems fitting to share it now.

Cloudburst

“This too, shall pass”

I discovered some older journal entries from similarly challenging times (2006, 2009), when I wrote out my frustrations in attempt to overcome them. I remember, at the time, how writing about my angst actually helped.

For most of us — until now — things have greatly improved since then (2008 recession) . . . yet with the lock-down, the quarantine, the isolation we all feel, we’re back into Difficult Times. (And in recent days: Riots! Looting! Tearing Down, instead of Building Up :((

So I’m posting these as reminders, for me, for you — somehow, “This too, shall pass.”

Let’s live our best, not our worst. Destruction is easy. Rebuilding, renewing — that’s the difficult part! And that’s the part we all need.

Stay well!    DawnSeeker

Sliver Lining

Frustration
April, 2009

Frustration prompts me to pray,
Pray, pray to God
That I be inside His will.

Frustration wraps me in angst
At night in my little bed,
Afraid of the coming light.

Frustration befriends me, insults me.
Beats my self-image
To the point of forgetting why I’m here.

Only to reach out further, with more
Heart-felt angst,
And press deeper into its hateful hands —

Pushing, reeling, reacting. Reaching
Out to my Creator,
For the key that sets me free.

Repetition, repetition, the same numbing lines,
Repeated over and over,
Like a life-line that my fingers cannot feel.

“But faith is the substance of things hoped for,
The evidence of things unseen . . .”
“Faith is the substance of things hoped for

The evidence of things unseen . . .”
In the face of frustration, my substance
Exists in faith — or not?

More and more my life becomes mental,
Even in the face of physical action,
Of horses and weddings and friendships.

Lani Kai tourists wedding photo shoot

I cower inside my mental me,
Criticizing.
Compromising.

I know I’ll die and wonder what exists
On the other side…
So near?

Have I fulfilled my mission?
Wasted my time?
Loved and lived enough?

Does my life fulfill my contract?
Do justice to the genes?
Is Grandma proud?

How do I deal with my life’s frustrations?
Honorably, I hope.
What mental oil will grease my wheels?

Can bills-due really run my life? Commitments?
Must Life be more?
It must!

And I must break my mental prison
And I must be here,
Here and now,

And not tucked inside the balance of my
Just-in-time
Bank account.

But the eyes of those I look into,
Those are the wealth.
And the time we “waste”

And the frustrations we share
Are the exit-hose
For all the frustrations.

So go. Get out of bed. And live.
Share. Take the risks
Of rejection, of failure . . . of success.

Climb the mountain of commitment
One blessed step,
One blessed look,

At a time.

Malibu Bird of Paradise

And it worked! So much has improved since then. Off the wheel, out of the rat-race. Shifting perspective and priorities to embrace greater possibilities.

Peek-a-boo!

Difficult Times
December, 2006

Difficult times are
when we show
what we’re
made of —
cursing or blessing,
gratitude or angst.

It’s when we get to
dig deep into the
goodness God’s
placed in us.
And overcome
fears with faith.

Palpable faith.
Present. Real.
Listen up —
God wants a chat
with me,
with you,
NOW!

(from my handwritten journal, @4:00 am)

Gateway Shadows

After all, Difficult Times appear in every life, every generation. It’s up to us to find a way to deal with them. To open inner gateways. To seek solutions, within ourselves, and exercise self-discipline. To open our eyes to the beauty that surrounds us :))

DawnSeeker

Great Egret with Lizzard

Copyright © 2020, 2006, 2009 Dawn Jenkins

Photos:  Dawn Jenkins

~~~~

Laddie on the Trail

Dawn’s a Life-long Horse Girl —

Please visit Dawn’s Horse Blog:  Soul Horse Ride :))

~~___(\ ~~___(\ ~~___(\
…/< >\ …/< >\ …/< >\

~~~~

 

 

 

17 thoughts on “Difficult Times — Frustration!

  1. http://theenglishprofessoratlarge.com

    Dawn, it just seems to get thicker with pain and hate, but we know that underlying all is the infinite Lord’s love that sustains us. I just learned from his daughter of a longtime friend’s death by the virus. We had been friends for 66 years, and even though he lived in New York, we always maintained frequent contact through letters or phone calls or email. Now, his wife is in the hospital. I mourn him,but I know he’s in the bet place now. I send you beautiful toughts on which to float and a lot of love.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. DawnSeeker / DawnHoof Post author

      Thank you, Patricia :)) I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. What a special friendship — 66 years! Not many people share that much time together. Perhaps he will come to you in a dream :)) My friend Joel and I are 42-year close friends (we met in Encinitas, near San Diego in 1978). I lost track of him for several years, until we ran into each other on Pt. Dume, in Malibu. Turned out he lived just a few streets up from me in Malibu Park. That was nearly 30 years ago, and we have stayed in touch since. Life has so many wonders! Love to you, my dear friend :)) Dawn

      Like

      Reply
      1. http://theenglishprofessoratlarge.com

        Life does, indeed, have many surprises. I had four friends from my time in Reno and all are now deceased, three of them younger than I. My second cousin is the only person I know who is older than I. I guess I’m becoming the old crone of the group. That’s okay with me. You are lucky to still have your friend Joel. We treasure our friendships.
        Thank ou for being one to me. Love you.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  2. dfolstad58

    Thank you for your reminder to look for the beauty around us and to be thankful. It is also helpful I think to avoid too much “Stinky Thoughts”. We have to careful that negative and critical thoughts don’t occupy too much of our time and thinking. We need to air out those grey cells. hmmm – I bet you could run with that and do a wonderful post. Hugs, David

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. dfolstad58

    My son and I often encourage each other now using the phrase “molokai spirit” which you shared with me. It is a reminder that hawaii is within us, and yesterday as we rode our bikes looking down on the lake and valley it really reminded us of hawaii, and we talked about the essence of loving nature. It was a rough day for my wife, we hiked the mountain in summerland which we try to do every two days, weather permitting. My wife had a fall when she hit some loose rock and fell about 9 feet sliding into some roots, which were fortunate as there was a cliff about 15 feet past that. We hiked down from there but she was in pain and so went for xrays. She has some hairline rib fractures but not on pain meds and wants to hike tomorrow. It could have been worse and we are reminded to not get overconfident on those trails. Feeling grateful despite the ups and downs of life – we uphold one another. – Blessings and hugs, – David

    Like

    Reply
  4. Gregory Hake

    Love this meditation! Thank you, Dawn! If we try to make substance which God created stand up in a form that is not according to God’s design and try to be a means for the expression of God’s power for a purpose that is not according to God’s will, there must be decay.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. DawnSeeker / DawnHoof Post author

      Thank you, Gregory — I’ve been busy with my horses and my hoof work, riding and disappearing into the Great Outdoors, wandering off the Reservation of everyday life. There is a message from the Divine in that :)) “Stay engaged in what you love; Focus on that,” seems to be the message coming through :)) Dawn

      Like

      Reply
  5. C.M.Mounts

    Thank you for spreading some light in dark times. It is too easy to forget that ‘this too shall pass’ when we are in the thick of the daily troubles. I have been contemplating the three year cycle my own life has been on- 1 terrible year followed by 2 good ones, repeat. I have actively refused to allow the sorrow of past times ruin the joy i find in this day, the only time that really exists. Peace!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. DawnSeeker / DawnHoof Post author

      Hurray! That, in itself, is a big Victory :)) The road seems rocky right now, but the bigger picture is somehow playing out. Keep on pep-talking yourself through the difficult path :)) There is Light — and we must seek it. Dawn

      Like

      Reply

Leave an Insight

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s