I’m at a fascinating place to observe right now.
Have I ever experienced this before?
Is is an aberration? Is it normal? Will it shift?
It’s like all the “will” has left my Life.
I’ve done, literally, all I have wanted to do.
I have traveled, worked, ridden . . .
Flown, loved, slept . . .
The only thing that seems to interest me right now, is writing.
Some reading, but mostly writing.
What about my horses?
Why not ride???
I just don’t have the urge.
Why not anything else???? Anything physical, like I used to do, my whole Life?
Maybe it’s normal to want a time to come down off of a physical Life like mine. Physical work and labor. Toil, travel and sweat.
(I’m still working, although less in the last two weeks — I blew out my wrist, and am on a forced hiatus.)
But that, alone, isn’t it.
Oh yes, the weather turned bad. Thunderstorms and hail and pounding rain. Washing out roads and such, thwarting our rides-to-be up Mt. Pinos for two consecutive late summer weekends.
But not even that, is really “it“.
It’s like my “wind-up doll” unwound.
And it’s sitting on a heap on the floor.
But, I just don’t care.
Motivation: Zip. Nada. Nothing!
So, can I make peace with this phase/stage of my Life?
Or do I ROAR like a lion, to (try and) shift it???
It’s like I’m sick, without the sickness.
Forced down time . . .
So I might as well find a way to enjoy this new phase of mine.
Set my sights on shifting what I can. Accepting what I cannot shift . . .
(See my Yoda Story)
I must thank God for ALL things, the Good and the bad — for things just like this.
Force myself to do the little that I can, and appreciate that.