Friendships. Real friends. Soul connections.
We all need them. Crave them. Like plants crave water and sun.
Yet how do I find them? Connect with them?
What makes them grow? What makes them fizzle?
Home Away from Home
I’ve worked overseas for the past fourteen years. In Hawaii. Shoeing horses there. Flying to my Island community and working there for two weeks out of every six . . .
Yet when I sent my anvil and all my tools home to California last year, I left one of my most important assets behind: My friends.
My emotional safe havens. (You know who you are :))
With all my travels, I made wonderful. Deep. Friendships. Now 2,500 miles away!
So how do I go about rebuilding here, at home, the bonds of friendship I forged there?
Open Doors — Chance Meetings
We meet people, all the time. But what makes a friendship? What opens a door and makes a chance meeting, a chance encounter, develop farther, deeper — into a friend?
Something has to spark. To happen. And really, most people seem to hold their energy so tight, so close, there’s little room for exchange to occur.
It’s just not on their agenda to be open to meeting. Interacting. Growing.
Dance card, Life card — full. No room for another friend.
Who are you? What is your Life like? (And. . . what does your Life have to offer . . . me, and my Life? And mine . . . to yours?)
Do we have anything in common? Do we share a basis for growth?
Are you kind? (Or mean!)
Are you reliable? (Or a flake.)
Can you be counted on . . . (Or would you let me down?)
Do you wanna dance? See if we even could be friends?
Or is your Life too full already.
Wanna meet for lunch?
Talk on the phone?
Because the next, most essential, element has to happen if we are to be friends . . .
Time — Interaction
We have to actually, really, carve out some kind of time together. We have to share interaction for friendship to exist.
(This is why most of my friendships have come from my clients — I spend time with them. And their horses. And over time, I get to know them. And they get to know me.)
I watch their cycles. They watch mine.
I watch their reactions in Life.
And we see if we can trust each other.
And we choose, or not, to open up to one another . . .
What is the energy created between us?
Growth? Inspiration? Harmony?
Or, annoyance? Angst? Criticism?
Or even, NOTHING! Stalled-out energy that leaves us flat . . .
Is it just me, trying to connect with you? Or do you include me in your thoughts and actions?
Do you call me? Or is it just always and only up to me to call you?
Because if it’s always and only up to me to reach out to you — it won’t work.
If you do reciprocate. If we do share/create harmonious energy between us, then we have the chance to grow :))
Share insights. Exchange ideas. Perspectives. Enhance each other’s lives.
Create a psychic bond.
Become a support for one another . . .
Together we become like a plant in soil, with sun, air, water, nutrients.
Our blossoms mixing into a colorful bouquet to brighten the day :))
I think that all of the above paints a description of being vulnerable. Open. Because, as we know from previous friendships, in opening up, we take a risk.
We could invest time. Love. Hope in a person.
But they could turn on us, let us down.
Hurt us. Step on us. Spit us out.
(In which case, that wasn’t a true friend, now was it! Stay far, far away!!!)
Yet it would seem most friendships die because they get crowded out — by the weeds, (activities), of Life. By other competing elements (work, family, friends). By a lack of room for proper growth.
Or they just don’t receive the needed nutrients.
Not enough water (time spent together). Sunlight (interaction, inspiration).
So they wither and die, or just barely survive . . .
So what kind of friend (gardener) do I want to be? Will I tend to the beautiful blossoms in my friend-garden?
Will I allow myself to be vulnerable. Open. Will they?
Will our friendship blossom? Grow?
Like the colorful pansies in the ceramic pots on my porch. (So far, I’ve kept them alive! In fact, they thrive :))
Or will I forget them, in neglect.
And let them wither and die?
Friendships. Real friends. Soul connections.
We all need them. Yet we have to feed them —
Provide them with soil, water and sun,
So they may, hopefully, continue to blossom.
And if they fizzle, please don’t snivel —
But give them water, and love, once again :))
Like what you’ve read here? Visit Dawn’s sister blog: Soul Horse Ride
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